The above link is a Duke University list of myths and facts about bisexuality. And ALL OF IT IS TRUE. Except the myths of course.I myself am bisexual, and I if I relate any more to this article, I will probably get sucked into it and will have it stamped word for word all over my body. But I'm not going to do that. Who knows what the orientation of the author is? I'm here to legitimise it. Because I know firsthand what they're talking about.
[Although the author already came up with his/her own answers for these myths, I am going to respond with my own.]
Myth: Bisexuality doesn't really exist. People who consider themselves bisexual are going though a phase/ confused/ undecided/ fence sitting. Ultimately they'll settle down and realize they're actually homosexual or heterosexual.
My truth: I get so much of this, and obviously it is not true. I do consider myself bisexual, but I am not going through a phase. I have ALWAYS liked both women and men, and I can date my first girl crush back to 2nd or 3rd grade, before I even knew what sexual orientation was. To be honest, I have TRIED to settle down and realise I'm one or the other, but I'm neither. When I am having a sexual fantasy about a man, chances are that a week from then I'm going to have an equally steamy fantasy about a women. I can't help it.
Myth: Bisexuality doesn't really exist. People who consider themselves bisexual are really heterosexual, but are experimenting/playing around/trying to be cool/liberated/trendy/politically correct.
My truth: Although I have definitely come to terms with my bisexuality and will be honest when anybody asks, it's not a lifestyle I would have chosen on purpose. Dude, think about it. I've known I've liked both girls and boys since I was 8. You really think I would have even known it to be "cool" or "trendy" to be bisexual at that age? Even though I was the first person I ever heard of to like girls even though I was one?
Myth: Bisexuality doesn't really exist. People who consider themselves bisexual are actually lesbian/ gay, but haven't fully accepted themselves and finished coming out of the closet (acknowledging their attraction to people of the same gender.)
My truth: Believe me, if I was a full-fledged lesbian, I would have come out a long time ago. Sometimes I try to force myself to feel attracted only to women, and vice versa, but it's never going to happen. If I ever tell you I'm straight/a lesbian, DON'T BELIEVE ME (I don't think I will though)! I have done it before, and everyone knew I was lying.
Myth: Bisexual people are shallow, narcissistic, untrustworthy, hedonistic, and/or immoral.
My truth: Oh please, and the next person isn't, straight, bi, OR gay? If you know me well, you should know this is a laughable myth, since I am none of those things (maybe a little immoral though...hehehehe). And if I WAS, it has nothing to do with my bisexuality. I mean come on, how can anyone DENY the fully straight and gay people out there who have those traits as well? Those traits are completely IRRELEVENT to sexual orientation.
Myth: Bisexual people are equally attracted to both sexes. Bisexual means having concurrent lovers of both sexes.
My truth: Um, not. There's NO WAY you can be attracted to each sex equally. You see, I see human sexuality as a spectrum. There are two extremes, absolute heterosexuality and absolute homosexuality. And then there are bisexual people, like me, who are somewhere in between. But rarely is anyone completely 50%. Myself? I'm probably 40% straight and 60% gay. And that concurrent lovers is bogus. I am currently* in a committed relationship with a dude, and I don't plan on cheating on him for anyone, boy or girl. But if I ever break up with him, whether it be for a girl or not, it's not because I ABSOLUTELY NEED to have a girlfriend. It's just that I've found someone else who I feel can fulfill my needs as a human being. Or that I haven't found anyone, and I'm just sick of being in a relationship, period. I wouldn't be in concurrent relationships.
Myth: Bisexual people are promiscuous hypersexual swingers who are attracted to every woman and man they meet. Bisexual people cannot be monogamous, nor can they marry or live in traditional committed relationships. They could never be celibate.
My truth: Like there aren't straight sluts out there!! People - MOST OF THE WHORES I HAVE COME ACROSS HAVE NOT BEEN BISEXUAL. And although I have no desire to get married or to stay with someone for a long time, again, my bisexuality isn't the cause of these feelings. People fail to realise when they brand bisexuals with these stereotypes that there are people of their own sexuality that are like that. And not all of them are like that, right? Same here. And although I'm not a slut, what's wrong with not being celibate? Even if I was straight, I'd still think celibacy is a load of crap.
Myth: Bisexual people spread AIDS to the heterosexual and lesbians communities.
My truth: Ho, ho, ho. I've actually heard this one for purely gay men rather than bisexuals, but both are ABSOLUTELY ridiculous. First of all, sexual orientation is, ONCE AGAIN, completely irrelevant. It has to do with honesty and responsibility. No matter who you're having sex with, you should be protected and getting checked up annually by a gynocologist. Also, who the hell are you to BLAME this horrible epidemic on anyone? If you care so fucking much about AIDS, why don't you DO something about it rather than bitching about gay people who spread it, especially since that is false and you're ignorant as hell. Being tested HIV-positive may no longer be a death sentence, but it still feels like one (I so imagine). At least have some SYMPATHY for these suffering people. It shows how truly ignorant and immoral a person is when they blame something like this on a certain group of people. Who cares who started it? We should be focused on who and what's going to STOP it.
Myth: Politically, bisexual people are traitors to the cause of lesbian/gay liberation. They pass as heterosexual to avoid trouble and maintain heterosexual privilege.
My truth: I don't. I'm totally out and fighting for gay liberation. And come on, like completely gay and lesbian people don't sometimes do it? Right. It depends on the person, not their sexual orientation (haven't you noticed this trend? You can't stereotype any group for something, because those traits can be found in anyone).
Myth: Bisexual women will always leave their lesbian lovers for men.
My truth: It's not they're leaving their lover for a man, they're leaving their lover for someone who could better fulfill their needs in a lover. Gender may or not be a role in this. But I can tell you that this is false. Bisexuals can be fully committed to someone of either sex.
Myth: Bisexual people get the best of both worlds and a doubled chance for a date on Saturday night.
My truth: I loved Duke's answer for this one and I'm going to paste it after I write mine. I read in Cosmopolitan magazine (since it is obviously the source of all truth) that for 100 single women, there are 116 bachelors. Just thought I'd throw that stat out there for anyone interested.
Duke's truth: Combine our society's extreme heterosexism and homophobia with lesbian and gay hesitance to accept bisexual people into their community, and it might be more accurate to say that bisexual people get the worst of both worlds. As to the doubled chance for a date theory, that depends more upon the individual's personality then it does upon her/his sexuality. If a bisexual woman has a hard time meeting people, her sexual orientation won't help much. (QFT!!!)
Myth: Bisexual people are desperately unhappy, endlessly seeking some kind of peace they cannot ever find.
My truth: Are you serious? Ever since I came to terms with my bisexuality in ninth grade, I've been happier and happier. I'm probably happier than most people my age, gay, straight, or bi. Also, Duke said that if you care so much for how a bisexual feels, stop being such a fucking homophobe and join the fight for gay liberation, since it is homophobia that mainly causes a great majority of the misery for GLBT people out there.
I hope I have opened your mind to bisexuality (of course, if you were homophobic from the beginning and very close-minded, there's probably nil hope for you. But for those who are gay tolerant but not so much bi tolerant, maybe I have changed that). It is a very legitimate sexual orientation, a very real one. Even if you hate the concept of bisexuality, at least you know there is a concept.
And there you have it,
Kaytee.
*This blog was originally posted on January 19, 2008, and this relationship has since ended. However, keep in mind I am only 15, and a year and a half is miraculously long compared to relationships other people within my age group have.
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