Not My Rival

“What I must do is all that concerns me, not what the people think.”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

If I lived in Biblical times, I’d have been a great Roman thinker. If I lived in the Dark Ages, I’d have been hung for heresy. If I lived in the Elizabethan Era, I’d have been the Queen’s confidante. If I lived among the slaves in the Confederacy, I’d have risked my life to free them. If I lived in the 1960’s, I’d have been a hippie. But I don’t live in any of those times: I am an American child of the 21st century.

Not that it concerns me. You know, where and when my existence takes place. The fact of the matter is that I only have this one life, and I’m not quite ready to give it up. I do care about what goes on outside my comfort zone – I hate haters and have a problem with people who have a problem with the outcasts, or the minority, or just anyone who is different (whatever THAT means). But right now, I’m 16 and I really just want to enjoy what’s left of my childhood. The world revolves around my friends, around San Antonio, around me. But that’s my world. Every person has their own world…and we share our worlds to create the Big Picture. People just have the tendency to hurl their worlds around and crash into others’. But my world isn’t going to destroy anybody’s, I hope. Mine is going to share waters! To be walked upon by trusted people. If you want to become a part of mine, here’s a tour!

I like to be funny and goofy and silly, but I’m also pretty serious and (obviously) cheesy. Not that any of these parts of me are fake; my personality is pretty big, and some aspects of it just can’t exist at the same time as others. But that’s not to say they don’t both exist. I am Cakes - fun, playful, flirty, horny, happy, extremely perverted, shameless, and giggly. I am Sana – sarcastic, annoyed, argumentative, opinionated, passionate, troublesome, pissy, and also extremely perverted. I am Hāsya – thoughtful, pessimistic, worried, tranquil, dreamy, shy…and still pretty damn perverted. But I’m always Kaytee, always perverted, and always lazy as hell. I’m not very ambitious: I don’t care much for school stuff (though I GUESS I’ll go to college, just in case I’ll need it one day). I just want to write and think and live a quiet, simple life…in a very happening, diverse neighborhood. I don’t want much, except friends, real love, and happiness. Money just isn’t anywhere on my list of priorities. It can’t buy happiness anyway!

Also, I would like to add, and it would be wise of you to consider this for the sake of your sanity, that I don't care what anybody thinks of me except for my friends for this reason: nobody really knows me like my friends do, and so how could I let strangers' false impression of who I am at my core bother me? No matter what, you are going to be judged negatively by somebody for whatever reason, but it shouldn't bother you if you know that their reasons for judging you don't represent who you really are (I'll admit to being occasionally annoyed). Your true friends, however, give the most valuable criticism, because they know you and care about you. And when they do criticise you, remember something: they're your friend for a reason, and that's that they love you and think your positive attributes greatly outweight your negatives. As for appearance, it's fun to shop for cool clothes and put on make-up (it's part of being a girl!), but don't let it control your life. Beauty is subjective, and for every ugly thought you have about yourself, there is somebody who thinks you are beautiful. (Also, the best boys are the nerdy ones who don't realise how attractive they are and thus do not strive for model-gorgeous girlfriends. =D)