Write What?

It has become apparent to me over the past couple of years that I am a failure when it comes to writing fiction. Sure, I can do it, but what I lack is commitment and discipline. When I was 12, I promised myself I would have a finished novel by the time I was 16. Okay, that didn't happen. So when, at 14, I realised that 16 was coming soon and I still had nothing, I promised myself by the time I graduate high school, I'll get something done. But that probably won't happen either.

Sadly, because I do feel this is a sad thing, I seem to write the best when it is about myself. Or maybe not just about myself - about life in general. About thoughts and real events. But seriously, who the hell wants to hear about that stuff from a young lil' chillun like me?

Perhaps my audience doesn't have to be...everyone. I could write for the demographic of kids my age. How often do you see non-fiction books on the shelves in the young adult section about being young in the 21st century (if you do, they are written, ironically, by people in the last generation)? Is it arrogant of me to assume that other kids my age want to read about my life? Well why the hell wouldn't they! They read about the lives of made-up adolescents in real-life situations (young adult authors like Sarah Dessen and Meg Cabot seem to be all about that). It wouldn't hurt to read a book knowing that the main character is actually out there living her life. Especially when it ends on a positive note. It lets them know that while there can be happy endings, but there can be happy middles too.

Great, I am inspired! It can be a compilation of essays and journal entries...and just my thoughts on random things here and there. Photos...doodles...just personal things. I'm excited! Now I have something to DO! (Oh crap...my summer reading English essay...still nothing done! Oh well!)

Not-So-Vitally-Important Updates

Darn! Once again, I have not been keeping up with my blogging. You would think that, because it is summer, there would be two blogs a day seeing as how I've got so much free time, but sadly, that's not how it is.

Lame excuse #1: I've been WANTING to write a blog, but I don't know what about. In fact, I haven't written much of anything lately, besides a few lame erotica stories (ha, but like I'll ever make those public). I'd promised myself I would get going on writing a novel this summer, but I broke it! I have gotten NOTHING done, novel-wise.

Lame excuse #2: Other things have been occupying me. I just got back from a 9-day trip to Michigan, during which there was no time at ALL to write a blog! And when I haven't been in Michigan, my parents have been a bit annoying about my computer time and think it should be limited. I usually wake up at 8:00 in the morning to chat with my boyfriend online and go back to sleep at around 11:00 before they know I was even on. Then I spend the day sleeping, watching TV, and pretending to do chores. At 8:00 at night, I get back on the chat and talk to my boyfriend some MORE, and once he signs off at around 10:00, I lazily cruise the internets, much too lazy to think up something for a blog.

Although June was hardly eventful - save the Michigan trip and seeing my partner ONCE - I still managed to find something "better" to do than blog. I'll try harder in July, but now I really do have excuses. For one, I applied for a job today as a hostess for my favorite restaurant, and I was hired on the spot. It will be full-time, so I really won't have much time for blogs. Plus, July seems to be party month. So many of my friends are having bashes, including myself. Oh yes, and there's the lame summer reading project I have to do for school. Procrastination FTW! Probably won't start on it till August.

A couple months ago, I think I posted a blog about a "feature" I planned on having called "Unhappy? Get The Fuck Over It". Obviously, that died as quickly as it was born. First of all, when I came up with the idea, I myself was hardly qualified to tell people how to stop being so miserable. Just the title of the feature is enough to tell you how, well, unqualified I was. No person qualified in the field of happiness would actually call their personal "self-help" blog feature "Get The Fuck Over It". It just...doesn't work that way. It shows impatience and lack of sympathy, and patience and sympathy are keys to happiness. Would you want an unhappy person to tell you how to be happy? It's bullshit, isn't it?

But now, I think I do qualify! Seriously, I've never been happier. Perhaps when I was 7 or something, but back then I was naive and didn't even face the full sets of problems that people have after they hit adolescence. It seems like I have realised things in my life that are keys to happiness which many people don't realise until their mid-life crisis, or maybe never. So I was thinking: maybe I should start a "self-help" feature that sort of goes into my ways of thinking. They're not very hard to apply (well, easy for me to say...if you're in a rut, it might be much harder; and I have to say, I have things quite easy) and can be applicable to anybody. Even though I'm a liberal atheist (key lesson one: that doesn't matter. Ever since I sorta gave up on thinking and overanalysing religion and politics, things got much simpler. "Atheist" seems to imply that I am still, I suppose, "active" in arguing with people about it. But I really, really couldn't care less anymore.), somebody else at the opposite side of the spectrum could follow them as well (with an open mind of course).

The name of this feature is certainly not going to be "Unhappy? Get The Fuck Over It." Thing is, I can't think of anything else. Suggestions? At least now I have something to blog about. However, it might take a bit longer, because these are things that I'll have to organise my thoughts for, then draft, then edit. But I enjoy the writing process, so I most certainly WILL keep my word because I now have a motive, and I'll chuck 'em out as often as I can.

And there you have it,

Kaytee.